TV and Government Control

What is up with the TV shit? I’m pretty sure we all by now are aware that if you are still using rabbit ears to watch television, you need cable. Or a converter box. Or a time machine. Whatever.

But our government is completely freaking out, saying that the Bush administration dropped the ball on notifying the public, and extending the digital conversion date until June! Why is our government freaking out, and how could they possibly handle this any less efficiently?

And how much is all this bullshit costing us????

Here’s how I would handle this:

Get a list of everyone in America.

Get a list of everyone with cable, satellite, or DTV. Remove them from the list.

Send a letter to everyone that is left! By my calculations, it should be about 137 people; all located in either central Pennsylvania or Montana. Maybe send a second letter, but that’s it! Guess what? When their TV stops working, and getting Junior to climb on the roof to adjust the antenny doesn’t fix it, I bet they figure it out real soon! Especially if it’s Nascar season!

So why the government freakout? When was the last time they were this concerned about something? Have you seen any public service announcements about the recession or stimulus? How about a government ad campaign about avoiding STDs, or the dangers of heroin? Perhaps the government can begin buying airtime to educate the public on how a bill becomes a law (I know of a really good song they can use) or how the Federal Reserve creates money and debt? How about a public service campaign on how to balance your checkbook, or change the oil in your car? Why doesn’t our government spend millions on public education for CPR? How to write a resume? How to properly use a library? How to read?!

Nope. None of these are important enough to warrant government action. No public information on how to care for an infant properly. They won’t teach the general populace how the stock market works, or even what GDP means. Here’s a good one: How about a country wide public service campaign on converting to the FUCKING METRIC SYSTEM?!!

Nope. How to avoid having your TV interrupted for a minute.

Why? Because they would have no power without their propaganda machine. Do you really think the people control the airwaves? Without TV, how would we know that Arabs are evil? Russians are bad. French are pussies.

This is so important to them they can’t risk a very minuscule minority of the population missing the message for a second!