Vick the Eagle...

Wow. Crazy news. Right in the middle of the excitement of watching the boys on the field for the first time, we get hit with this. And let's be honest, the field excitement was a bit disappointing, aside from Shady, and Eldra Bunkley (who? I don't know, but I like him!).

So there it is. We took Vick. And we were all shocked. Then pissed. How could the fat ass do this? Just when we managed to get through a period without controversy, this happens. Of course this has been a tumultuous start to the season, but what it hasn't been is controversial. Injury plagued and frustrating, sure, but no controversy. McNabb is happy in his new contract, solidified as the Man for at least 2 more years. Sheldon Brown has realized he won't get a new deal, and is playing ball. Even Maclin is finally under contract and on the field. The only issues we've had to worry about (and there have been PLENTY) have been football issues.

Now this. I've gotten over the initial anger a little bit, and can try and look at it rationally. It's not easy. It's easier to imagine D-Mac and Andy in their own little world, not thinking at all about the consequences of their actions. Let's not do that.

Instead, I'm going to look at the positive.

First and Foremost. McNabb. It is now clear that he was behind this decision, and lobbied for it, 100%. That is good. That means there is no controversy with #5, for now. For Now. After McNabb throws his first interception, well, that's a different story. This is Philly.

Ok then, what about Kolb? Is his injury more serious than they're telling us? Or has Reid finally accepted the fact that maybe he's just not that good? I don't know. I do know that I have always been a fan of A.J. Feeley. Sure, he's not a star, but he knows this offense as well as anyone, and in a pinch I have confidence in him. Remember the playoffs a few years back? Remember how he led us to victory, then McNabb got 'healthy' and we switched QBs to allow #5 to lose another Championship Game? Yeah.

So not so worried about Kolb, but I am worried about Vick as our backup QB, because that's where the controversy will arise. Unless, of course, Donovan has a flawless year. That usually happens...

And what about roster spots? If we list him as QB then we can't put him in and out of formations. So who gets the bump? I can't think of a WR I want to get rid of. RB? I could do without Booker, but I think I like Eldra. Do we carry 4 RBs? Hmmmm. We seem a bit thin at tight end! Can he block??

But I said I was looking at the positive. The positive is obvious on the football field. Imagine McNabb, Westbrook and Vick on the field together. Who do you cover? Could we add Shady to the mix? I like that a lot!

So I start to feel better about it when I think of those possibilities. Then I remember he murdered dogs. So I'll try to look at that without getting pissed off again.

Here's the deal: He did his time. I have always tried to believe that once someone does their time and pays the debt that society has prescribed him, he should be a free man. Someone shouldn't be discriminated against for their past of they have served their sentence. That being said, he has to prove himself now, and that won't be easy. I hope there are some serious clauses to his contract. If he sneezes the wrong way, he's out.

Should he be condemned forever for this? No. He, like all of us, deserves a second chance. Here's another thing: I believe in and trust Tony Dungy. Tony Dungy believes in Michael Vick. He has been his mentor since his release. That goes a long way, in my book.

The bottom line? If someone is to take a chance on him, it might as well be us. If he is to become a respected member of the NFL, and a premier player once again, it's either for us or against us. Would you really like to see him on the other side of the field?

We do have a fantastic organization, and the best city in the world. If anyone can handle this, it's Philly. Of course, if this could tear any city apart, it's also Philly.

We'll see. I will trust in the organization. For now.

Michael Jackson

He's dead. Did you hear? Maybe not, there hasn't been a lot of media coverage. Apparently there is some mystery surrounding the events of his death. Pills? Drugs? Captain Hook? Will we ever know?

Here's what we do know: If his children (holy crap he had children?!) were not well adjusted previously, I'm sure mourning their father in front of millions, on stage with Brook Shields, Corey Feldman (or the other? both?) and Bubbles the Monkey will actually be very therapeutic. They probably avoided years and years of potential therapy. Hmm. I wonder if the family even knows a doctor? Poor little Blanket.

Hey, did you know that MJ's dad owns a record label? Yeah, I know because he mentioned it in the first interview he conducted the day after his son died. Seemed appropriate. Well, at least Janet's wardrobe functioned properly at the funeral.

The honest fact we have all ignored, however, is that, whatever the true cause of death was is irrelevant. We killed Michael Jackson. That's right. You and I. We are murderers. Think about it. Could this have ended any other way? Would we have been satisfied if he had a successful comeback tour, free of controversy and boy-touching? If he aged gracefully, with no major court cases and deformed-bone collecting? Don't think so. We needed Michael, our wacked-out court jester, to go out in a media frenzied blaze of glory. We would have it no other way. We might as well have held him down and poured the oxy-xanax-fairy dust down his throat ourselves. We killed him. If he hadn't died the night before his tour, we would have found something, anything, to haunt him with until he reached his inevitable end. Maybe he wouldn't be that good. Maybe his comeback would be all groggy and Brittany-like. Maybe his voice wasn't that good any more. Whatever. We would have found something, then attacked him with it until he reached this inevitable end. It had to end this way, we wouldn't have it any other way.

And now that the deed it done, and we seem to have gotten away with it, is it over? Of course not. It's just beginning. Just like the coroner's report of Anna Nicole, which publically declared she had an 'Unremarkable Anus', we will not stop until we know every littly detail possible about the last moments of Michael's anus. Hell, we already made him endure photographing 'the little Jackson' and talking about it on TV to clear his name of pedophilia. Come on, we all knew that it was a scam to get money out of him, but we went with it. We all knew he's not a pedophile, he's just a little insane.

Now what? Does he get the Elvis treatment? Do we continue to make him the butt of all our jokes, while reconciling it in our own minds by simultaneoulsy declaring his genius?

Sure. I'll visit Neverland. Graceland is pretty boring.